The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize