I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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