God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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