Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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