I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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