hotel room ftw
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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