he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize