This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm too high and old for this...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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