Im at strip club and am horny
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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