Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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