He kissed a someone with a penis
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
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Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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