he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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