Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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