His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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