fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize