I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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