where am i from again
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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