This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize