Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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