I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
my poor anus
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize