i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize