It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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