It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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