He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found puke in my bra..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you had me at cake vodka
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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