apparently the secret to your success is patron
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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