he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
