yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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