At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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