We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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