I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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