are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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