i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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