I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize