Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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