We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize