Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize