So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize