I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so let's talk penis.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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