I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize