I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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