He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That accounts for only three of the penises
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize