It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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