So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize