it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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