he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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