rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I came so hard my ears popped.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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