Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize