Did you just see the Batmobile???
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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