u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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