tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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